Ask Sarita: Jealousy

Sarita loves to answer your questions, so if there’s something you’d like her advice on, please email her and let her know if you are happy for it to be published (you can remain anonymous). Here she answers a question on the red hot topic of jealousy!

Question

Can Tantra help to transform jealousy?

Love Sita x

Answer

Jealousy is a red hot topic which trips up even the most dedicated meditator. Luckily, one of the meanings of Tantra is, ‘transforming poison into nectar.’ In this sense, we can use Tantra to transform any of the so called negative aspects of our life, including jealousy.

It is good to understand that in fact, if we are jealous of someone, this feeling comes about because we are projecting some un-lived aspect of ourselves onto the person we are jealous about. We are imagining that this person is able to have a level of fulfillment that we are denied. To heal this wound within ourselves, it is wise to ask the question, “if I could do whatever I wanted to right now, what would it be?”

Once you have found out what your underlying desire is, then you can create a meditation out of living it, as consciously as possible. In this scenario, it is important not to believe you need the other in order to act it out. You can distill your desire to it’s very essence, which means you going for your core need.  A sutra from the Vigyan Bhairav Tantra says:   “Objects and desires exist in me as in others. So accepting, let them be transformed.”

By accepting our desires, and acting them out as a meditation, we will be able to discover powerful lessons and insights which will enhance our clarity, wisdom and compassion. An important key in this is to be total. The more honest we are with our core desires, and the more total in acting them out, the more clarity and transformation will happen.  When you are doing exactly what you want, in the here and now with your full passion and creativity, it will be impossible to be in a state of jealousy. You will be so fully alive, so in the flow of who you are meant to be, that you will have no need to project your life force energy on another and compare. You will be in the flow. Jealousy can only exist in stagnation.

With love,

Sarita

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