Ask Sarita: Keeping Sex Alive in Relationship

Sarita loves to answer your questions, so if there’s something you’d like her advice on, please email her and let her know if you are happy for it to be published (you can remain anonymous). Here she answers a question on: sex in relationship


Dear Sarita!

I am so depressed, I have never been so sad in my life. I am 32 and have been in a relationship for eight years. I don’t have sex any more with my lover. He works a lot, his head is spinning around money issues, different things. When I ask him to have a little sex, he just says to me that his mind is not there, he cannot. He loves me, I love him, but I miss the deeper contact through sex. We never cheated on each other. We sleep like “2 spoons” always. I finally have my own flat, and we live there but I expected great love making there. Previously we were at my parents. For 8 years. That was  also not the ideal place for lovemaking..

So how do I do my work to attract him to lovemaking again? I am a very sad woman now.

Love Veronica


Hello Veronica,

Yes, it is a sad situation. The early 30s are the peak for a woman’s sexuality. So it is important to enjoy exploring many facets of sexuality during these years. It is ideal if you and your partner can do the Soul Mate Tantra training. If this is not possible, please buy my books and decide together with your partner which exercises or meditations you would like to experiment with. You can also get my CDs and enjoy trying these out together.

You are welcome to ask me for questions and to share about your experience, once you try out some of the exercises or meditations from the book. One hour is enough to have a really superb experience of Tantra. Everyone is able to set aside one hour, even in a busy life……When in relationship, it is all about priorities. Is it your priority to know the depths and heights of love, or are you not wishing to nourish this? Love is like a garden. It is important to take care of the garden, otherwise it will become a jungle, or, if there is no water, it will become a desert. You can show your partner what I have written to you, and see how he responds.

Together, nourish your garden of love, and discover the beautiful harvest which awaits you.

Love Sarita

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