Sarita loves to answer your questions, so if there’s something you’d like her advice on, please email her and let her know if you are happy for it to be published (you can remain anonymous). Here she answers a question on how to be fulfilled in relationship.
I am 45 years old and seem to be caught up in fear about following my sexual energy given past experiences and confusion about monogamous relationships. I have had two notable psychic-sexual ‘openings’ in my life. In both cases, although the energy and aliveness was amazing to live for a while, it also caused a huge amount of upheaval / trauma in my life. The first awakening resulted in my infidelity and thus led to my divorce and, the second, a more conscious exploration of poly-relationships nevertheless resulted in the loss of my second long-term relationship.
I have now met an amazing new Tantric partner with whom I have a wonderful heart and sex connection, yet feel this tension between wanting to dive deep versus wanting to ‘be free’. I struggle to determine what is resistance (or a pleasure demon) versus what is my Truth. Perhaps I am too much stuck in my mind? This new relationship comes at the precise time when I am healing (in psychotherapy) a sexual abuse issue. Do you have any advice?
In answer to your multifaceted question, I have a very simple answer. Do the Soul Mate Tantra Training together with your partner. Many times, people go for having affairs, because they don’t find a way to go deep enough with their long term partner. And of course, everyone would like to live the full potential sexual union can bring. I heard Osho say that people search for the greatest ecstasy sex can bring, and will go on changing partners until they find it. I believe this to be true. If you know tremendous sexual ecstasy with someone, there will certainly be no desire to search elsewhere.
The problem is, even though the potential to experience ecstasy may be there with a particular partner, most people are held back by lack of understanding about how to go into sex in such a way that you can discover deepest fulfilment. It is not your fault. It is a sad fact that society is constructed in such a way as to repress the natural urges for a healthy and passionate sexual exploration.
In the Soul Mate Training, you and your partner have all the support and space to go into profound exploration of your sexual and relationship dynamics. You will be exploring many facets and dimensions of relationship that you may never have even dreamed existed. Many doors and windows open up, bringing in fresh light and love. It is truly the journey of a lifetime. Some couples complete the training and love it so much that they decide to do the whole journey again, just to take it even deeper and higher. It is truly a pilgrimage into sex, love and relating. Along the way, you become an artist in the ways of intimacy.
I am not telling you this in order to ‘sell’ my training. I am telling you about it because I see so much unnecessary suffering in the world around the subject of love and relating. And this subject just happens to be my speciality. And it just so happens, that I have learned myriad way and means to help couples find deep fulfilment. It is important for couples to know that this is available. Otherwise, the outlook is bleak for intimate relating. Divorce is continuously on the rise, even though many people long to find deepest union. I believe people are searching for Tantra, without knowing what it is or how to go about it. Tantra must become more widely available if we are to see any improvement in people finding fulfilment through love union.
Love and Blessings,