Massage is the Answer

Having worked with thousands of people over many years, it is clear to me that massage is the answer to many of the problems that are faced by individuals and humanity. You only have to witness the look of pure bliss that comes over someone who is receiving quality massage to understand what I am saying. I believe bliss is our true nature and massage is one the best reminders of this!

Most people we meet on a daily basis in many countries of the world are literally starving for massage. As Osho says; ‘People have become very touchy about touch’. It is a sad fact that many people never get quality touch their entire lives even though it is a profound human need.

A Touch-phobic Society

Somehow, it has settled in the human psyche that touch is dangerous, signalling a prelude to unwanted sexual overtures. This idea begins in childhood with the prohibition on touching oneself, in fear that this could lead to masturbation.

Mothers may be afraid of cuddling their children and offering the breast, in case this arouses sexual feelings in the mother. It is a simple fact that there are nerves between the nipples and the clitoris and it is therefore clear that nature wants breast-feeding to be very pleasurable indeed!

Fathers may be afraid of cuddling their daughters in case someone will accuse them of being a paedophile. My father, for example, confessed to me a year before his death, that he never cuddled me and my sister out of fear that he may feel sexual attraction towards us. We always wondered why he was more affectionate towards lizards and snakes than towards us!

Scientific Studies Reveal Massage is Essential for Human Well Being

In actual fact, we have receptors in our skin that by being touched and massaged create a cascade of feel good hormones that help in developing a more refined intelligence, reduce stress, dissolve pain, activate empathy, compassion, and support health in all areas of body and mind. Numerous scientific studies have been done in regards to touch and the findings clearly demonstrate that touch and massage are essential for human well-being. says; ‘University of Miami School of Medicine’s Tiffany Field, director of the Touch Research Institute, has linked touch, in the form of massage, to a slew of benefits, including better sleep, reduced irritability, and increased sociability among infants—as well as improved growth of preemies.’
A new movement to bring massage to school children aged 4 – 12 is showing great results. says; ‘The Massage In Schools Programme (MISP) was officially founded in the year 2000 by Mia Elmsäter from Sweden and Sylvie Hétu from Canada.

‘Children doing the simple routine of our programme lower their stress levels, increasing their chance for better concentration at school and better sleep at home.’

It has also been found that whether we are giving or receiving touch, hugging or being hugged, the benefits to both are equal. The hormone oxytocin, also known as the cuddle hormone, is released into the body, increasing a sense of wellbeing for giver and receiver.

Cultures Where Massage Is Integrated in Daily Life

Luckily, we have examples of some societies where touch through massage is an integral part of cultural and family life. Everywhere in Thailand there are people offering massage, on the beach, in front of shopping malls, in shops all over the cities, in villages and in family homes. Their massage form is a direct lineage coming from the renowned physician of Buddha who was named Jīvaka Komārabhacca. This massage form is aligned with Ayurvedic Yoga Massage and brings wellness on all levels, physical, mental and emotional.

My friend who was travelling in Cambodia told me that in each family she stayed with, the whole family would massage each other after coming home from work and after that, begin their evening together. She said that even though the people are very poor, they live in a state of seemingly perpetual happiness.

The Lomi Lomi Nui massage technique is based on Indigenous Hawaiian Huna Sacred practices. It offers a holistic rejuvenation and revelation into wholeness, body mind and soul. (My friend Nisarga offers a superior training in this technique annually in Bali in February.)

In fact, all over the world, Indigenous cultures have sacred touch and massage techniques that benefit individuals and bring a sense of wellbeing to the community. These may take the form of hands on healing, acupressure, internal organ massage, sucking, blowing, stretching and other forms of touch based techniques.

When I did Hamman in Morocco, I was surprised that even though the women wear a full burka outside, inside the walls of the Hamman they are very free, belly dancing, laughing, singing, scrubbing and massaging each other with abandon. The lady who massaged me had no qualms about including a pleasuring of my nipples and breasts as a perk to the overall body massage.

Healing Touch

In ancient India, Ayurveda Healing was offered free of charge to the residents of some kingdoms. This holistic methodology includes therapeutic massage as an integral part of the treatment protocol. Children raised in this environment were massaged every day in order to develop limber and supple bodies.

In my early 30’s I worked for an allopathic doctor for several months. He informed me that in the touch starved culture of the USA, he had the impression that about 90% of his patients came to see him just to experience his loving and compassionate touch. As he was very busy, he asked me to sit with patients, take their history, hold their hand in empathy and offer them herbal tea. It was interesting to note that once I had seen the patient in such an empathic and loving way, many of them told the doctor they already felt much better.

Our primate relatives, chimpanzees and bonobos, spend at least 20% of their time grooming each other and other animal species such as lions or cats also spend a great deal of time grooming themselves and each other.

Throw Away Prudish Repressive Ideologies and Rediscover Bliss

If we throw prudish morality stemming from repressive religions out the window, I believe we will soon discover that life is very pleasurable and that human beings are made for touching and being touched in so many ways. Massage is simply a natural way of life, from birth to death.

When I witness unhappiness and ill health in persons from any cultural background, it soon becomes clear that at the root of the problem is lack of touching and being touched in a caring way, both past and present. I see some couples who struggle with difficulties and it becomes obvious that the real problem is that neither of them has a clue how to touch each other in a way that is conscious, loving and present.

I always offer some form of massage exchange in my groups, and am privileged to witness this as being one of the quickest and most effective ways of dissolving negative conditioning. People drop into a state of divine reconnection to who they are meant to be, happy, pleasure and love filled. It is vitally important that couples learn to exchange high quality massage. This single component can save a relationship from breaking apart.

A Kinaesthetic Future

Now and in the future, we need to move towards a society which thrives on touch. Massage should be taught in every school so that children are well prepared for a life of joy and fulfilment. The prohibition on loving touch has been detrimental to society on so many levels. People starved for touch do many inappropriate things, such as sexual misconduct, beating and violence of all kinds. These deviant expressions all arise from lack of conscious, loving touch in early life, leading to adults who are so touch deprived that they lash out in retaliation in horrific ways.

When I listen to some of the stories of how persons have endured torture and physical abuse by parents in their childhood it is heart-breaking. However, the fact that this person is standing before me in a Tantra group reveals how much the radiant human spirit is resilient and ever hoping to discover the true nature of loving communion beyond neurosis of all kinds.

The first time such a person is massaged with conscious loving touch, they may weep in an absolute meltdown as they simultaneously open to what was only a dream before, loving empathic touch, body and soul.

Our Thoughts Are Mirrored In Our Touch
It is important to be aware that our thoughts and emotions are communicated through our touch. Humans receive and respond to a wide range of touch based signals. A common range of non-verbal touch based messages are;


By learning and practicing massage we simultaneously learn to shift our mental states in terms of how we communicate through touch. For example, if a husband wants sex and places a lust filled hand on his woman, she may feel this is too much too soon. He can learn to place a hand full of presence on his woman, and she will soon open her heart and yoni to him like a flower opens to the sun.

Or perhaps a man comes home, stressed from his work, and his woman has learned about conscious touch. She can place her hands on him full of empathy, and he will soon melt and be ready to engage with her in the here and now.

Recommended Massage Techniques

One of my friends, Anubuddha used to be Osho’s massage therapist. Based on his experience of treating an Enlightened Master, he developed a sensitive massage approach called Arun (conscious touch).

There are several massage modalities which are valuable to learn. I am blessed to count among my friends some of the best massage teachers in the world. If you would like to know where to learn a particular massage modality, please check the list below.

Ayurvedic Yoga Massage;
Thai Yoga Massage;
Lomi Lomi Nui Massage;
Bio Dynamic Cranial Sacral
Arun (Conscious Touch Massage)
Tantra Massage;

Authentic Tantra Massage

These days, ‘Tantra Massage’ is a buzzword. Many people believe it is something like a glorified hand job while others are in pursuit of the famed ‘Female Ejaculation’. People have the idea to go off on a weekend course and learn it, to impress their friends and lovers or to make it a new profession.

The idea of isolating the genitals from the rest of the body and psyche as a massage technique is of course ludicrous and can be highly traumatising for the receiver. As we know from social media, there are many cases of sexual re-traumatisation from irresponsible yoni or lingam massage. Tantra Massage is one of the most delicate therapeutic forms and is only valid if it includes whole-body massage, is non-goal-oriented, is based in meditation, healing and conscious touch.

Because of so much misunderstanding around the art of Tantra Massage, I decided it is really important to offer a Training in authentic Tantra Massage methodology. Tantra Massage is actually a way to achieve a sublime inner state of perfect balance, weaving together yin and yang, the inner child and mature adult, sexuality and spirituality.

The Ultimate Tantra Mystic Massage Training

In my month-long Ultimate Tantra Mystic Massage Training, I teach Kashmiri Tantra Massage, Taoist Tantra Massage, Lasya Tantra Massage as well as Deep Tantra Touch which includes intimate internal work. My co-teachers for this are Dharmaraj (Tantra Massage professional) and Robert Silber. (Robert is a world – renowned expert in intimate, Deep Tantra Touch and founder of the Institute for Conscious Sensuality, Hawaii).

The Training is of a professional standard, firmly rooted in authentic Tantra with the genital aspect of the massage being integrated through detailed technique, meditation and presence. It offers a sublime healing journey into wholeness and integration.

At the time of writing, the Training to be held in Mid-January—Mid- February 2018 is almost full, with just a few spaces left. Reserve your space now so as to make the most of this opportunity! Visit for more information and bookings.

Offer Yourself the Gift of Regular Massage

In case you do not yet offer yourself the gift of receiving regular massage, do yourself a favour and begin your new massage filled lifestyle today! At least one massage per week is as essential as dental hygiene and much more pleasant! Bring the art of massage exchange into your relationship as well and experience the amazing flowering of love and pleasure in your intimacy.

And in case you have never been on a massage course, now is a good time to begin! You may be surprised how good it feels to re-join the human race, as an empathic, loving and fulfilled being.

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