Relationship with Partner – Ask Sarita

Sarita answers 2 questions this month. One is about what women and man need in relationship from each other. And the second is about the astrological compatibility. 

Question 1

“I have a question about my relationship with my partner. There are many times I sense effortless flowing between us, but there are many times when I feel like I’m drawn to a whirlwind of emotions. These times are usually triggered when I feel like he hasn’t spent enough quality time with me in the day. I feel destructive and restless inside – unable to settle and breathe deeply into myself. It feels unreasonable on one hand, and yet it is my reality – unreasonable or not. I am tired of this cycle, and I can’t seem to relax and meditate to look deeper inside myself in such situations. I can’t recognize why my reactions are so big…can you help me gain some clarity?”


Woman is by her very nature, needing to experience quality time with her Beloved. Her approach to sexuality is through the door of the heart. Quality time could be as simple as looking into each other’s eyes for long moments, or laying in his arms, melting into this precious moment of fusion, or hearing loving words from him about your beauty and magic, or receiving a surprise, or a gift….

Many men don’t realise how important quality time is to a woman. They may think, “Of course she knows I love her because I told her that 6 months ago!” They may not realise that women crave to hear those three magic words, every day! Women have been led to believe that if she craves love she is a needy co-dependent. This is simply a misunderstanding about how women are wired. We get aroused when our heart opens. It is as simple as that. Studies on women’s sexuality have shown that she is designed by nature to need quality heart connection in order for her sexual juices to get really activated.

So, all those clichés about soft lighting, the red rose, the diamond ring, the romantic dance are not just clichés, they are indicating a truth in the mating game. If we remove the mating game, we simultaneously remove chemistry and magnetism of our opposite and yet complementary polarities, male and female.

I have been answering all about women here and I am sure if some man is reading this he may wonder, and what about us? What do we need in the mating game? Ahh, that is another story! For a man to open his heart, he needs to receive recognition and honouring of his Lingam. Then, he will feel very romantic…
The mating game is diametrically opposite for men and for women. Try offering him a devotional lingam massage and get ready for the magic to unfold….

For more details and understanding on this subject, read the following books: The Male Brain, The Female Brain and Vagina, A New Biography.
You can also get my online course, Master Lover for lots of inspiration.

Question 2

“What is the relationship between moon (birth nakshatra) and sex satisfaction. I have experience with few women. Some of them gave me good satisfaction; with others I am so unsatisfied, that I don’t want to touch them again. My observation is that they all belong a nakshatra which is in favour of my nakshatra.
In India, we have a tradition of matching moon of birth chart before marriage. You might be aware of that. What are your views on this subject? In particular, can you throw some light on this subject at the microcosmic level. Can you explain this with respect to nerves and energies?”


This is a very interesting question. Yes, it is certain that the astrological compatibility plays a very important role in the chemistry between a man and a woman. Ancient Vedic astrology and Vastu are remarkable sciences more advanced than much of the science we have today. These were developed to help people to live in an enlightened way in all areas of life experience. Now a lot of the Vedic astrology appears to have much superstition attached to it but at its origin it is a great science. I am sure there are Vedic astrologers even today who are genius with this method, but I think we have to take great care when choosing an astrologer.

In today’s world we have something really fabulous, which is known as Human Design. This is a mix of Astrology, Quantum Physics and the I Ching. My sister Madhuri is a master of this. Through it, you can very accurately determine if you are well matched with someone on the level of sexual chemistry, emotions, mind and soul.

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