Choices in Relationship – Osho Quote

A sannyasin asks Osho about her relationship and being attracted to other men.

Osho responds:The problem is natural and everybody has to face it. 
If you want relationship… and to want relationship means security, safety, intimacy, love. And only in a very, very intimate relationship can love grow – love needs time, patience. If you want all these things then you have to sacrifice your momentary desires – that somebody looks attractive and you are sexually attracted. 

You have to sacrifice. 
If you want those momentary joys, pleasures, of being sexually related to this person and that, then sacrifice relationship and all that is possible through it; that has to be sacrificed. 

And one has to choose, you cannot have both. And if you try to have both, you will go neurotic. Many people are trying to have both and are going neurotic, because then you are pulled continuously, and you will destroy both. When you are with somebody else you will feel guilty, and how can you enjoy if you are feeling guilty? What enjoyment can be there? 

The guilt is there that you are doing something wrong, that you are harming him, that he will not feel good, that he will be miserable, mm? – that you are betraying. So, you will feel guilty and there will be no joy. 
And, because you feel guilty, you will be angry with him when you are with him, because it is because of him that you cannot enjoy: he is depriving you of your freedom. So, you will not be able to enjoy even being with him, and you will destroy both.

You cannot have both. You can destroy both, certainly, but you cannot have both. You can have only one: either you can have the free relating, floating with people. That has its own beauty, but it remains superficial, it never goes very deep. 

But if somebody chooses that, that’s perfectly good: I am not against it. 
That is your choice. 

Relationship has its own beauties. 
So, you have to be very clear and choose, clearly choose; and once you have chosen then forget the other. Life is a constant choice. 

Whenever you come to a place where two roads fork, you have to choose.
Both look alluring. This road also looks beautiful – great trees and the river and the mountain – and the other also looks very beautiful – beautiful flowers, green grass and the birds singing. 
But you have to choose!

And remember: if you choose one you may not ever have the other, because you cannot go back in time. 
Once you have chosen, the other is to be dropped, completely forgotten, as if it never existed.

And at each step there are roads forking. If you become very hesitant and you want to go one step this way and one step that, and you want to have both, you will go crazy. So simply choose, and whatsoever you choose is good. 
I am not saying choose this or choose that; I am saying choose. 
Both have beauties…. 

So, ponder over it, meditate over it, talk with him, and decide something. 
Something will come out of your meditation!

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