Life is Change and Transformation – Sarita’s Blog

There is a saying from the Greek Mystic Heraclitus, “You can’t step in the same river twice.” This is truly amazing wisdom, which encapsulates the whole life experience in a single phrase.

Life is a series of changes, of death and renewal, of the phoenix rising from the ashes. When we understand this, we do not cling to the past, but rather dive into each moment with full enthusiasm. And when chaos comes, we embrace it and ask, “What can I learn from you?” By embracing times of change and chaos in our lives and learning the lesson contained in this chaos, we naturally find ourselves ascending into a higher level of order. 

This doesn’t mean that we don’t suffer. It is entirely human to feel sad when someone dear to us has died or when a relationship ends for whatever reason. Indeed, there are five phases of grieving which pass through us when it is time to let go, whether that be of a relationship, a job, a house, or any of the elements in life we get deeply attached to.

The Five Phases of Grieving

The five phases of grieving are: Denial / Fear / Anger / Sadness and Acceptance. One of the great arts in life is to dive totally into these feelings, express them, and through this find our way into the new that is waiting to unfold. When we live these feelings consciously there is a beauty revealed in the situation that begins unfolding like a flower opening its petals with the rising sun.

The Ending Of My Intimate Relationship With Dharmaraj

I recently passed through these five phases of grieving due to the ending of my Love Relationship with Dharmaraj. We were in deep Tantric partnership for 4 ½ years. 

Our relationship as lovers was for me, a pure miracle. He appeared as an angel in my life and we journeyed together into 8 levels of Tantra Soul Mate Training. Through this process of being Tantra partners, we experienced the phenomenon of rising in love with conscious body and soul connected union. Our life paths intertwined and we experienced profound inner ecstasy and oneness. 

Growing and evolving on the Tantra path is an extremely powerful catalyst for transformation and we both evolved in myriad ways, alone and together. Recently, we discovered our souls carrying us in different directions and that to continue as lovers is no longer sustainable. We entered into a process of the five phases of grieving and letting go. 

With deepest love and respect, we held a completion ritual, honouring our love and stating to the divine, why we can no longer continue our life path as lovers. We ceremoniously burnt our handfasting ribbons and while bowing down to each other’s feet in complete reverence, we let go.

The very next day, he left for the Osho Resort in Pune to do the Mystic Rose Process and I left for a Detox Center in Koh Samui. Both of us took space to be in Retreat, as we processed the ending of this amazing journey together as lovers and discovering the path to transition into loving friendship.

For those of you who may be wondering if we will still teach together; as of now we have every intention of continuing to teach together. Life is indeed mysterious and we don’t know what the future will bring. However, at this time, we love and respect each other as friends and colleagues and we treasure our co-teaching together. 

The love we are will continue to touch the world in myriad ways alone and together. 

Osho says: “Falling in love you remain a child; rising in love you mature. By and by love becomes not a relationship, it becomes a state of your being. Not that you are in love – now you are love.” 

Dharmaraj has commented on our separation as follows:

 “The last four and a half years have been the most fulfilling and breath-taking of my life. For these four and a half years, Sarita and I have shared nothing short of a miracle, a fairy-tale romance, defying all odds, all stereotypes, all critics, so that only Love prevailed. I’ve learned what it means to be in deep relationship, what it means to trust, what it means to love. I’ve embraced all that life has had to offer through our shared intimacy. I’m forever changed for the better. 

It recently became clear to us that the relationship has come to a completion. We embrace the flow, embrace the change, embrace a new way of being. Sarita and I are transitioning into loving friendship. Our intention is to continue to teach together, and our teaching schedule for 2020 remains mostly unchanged due to this factor. I will enjoy to continue to share the love and ecstasy I experienced with Sarita through teaching, so that other couples may feel the profound transmission that is deep Tantric love relationship.

Sarita is, and will always be, my best friend and beloved master. I am grateful for every moment we shared together, and I look forward to having wonderful new experiences with her from a space of loving friendship.”

The Magic of Gratitude

The honouring statements we read out to each other during our completion ceremony and the flow of our ceremony may be of inspiration to others who are facing the letting go of a relationship. 

When we let go in deepest gratitude for the many gifts received during a relationship, we are owning those gifts and these are then integrated within. When we end in gratitude, we call towards ourselves a new and even more positive phase of life. If we end in bitterness, the law of karma will call us back into the same or an even worse situation and this will be repeated over and over till we learn the lesson. The lesson is delivered in its full grace and benediction when we are able to feel gratitude.

Preparing for the Separation Ceremony

Before our separation ceremony we spent a couple of days together in intimacy. We enjoyed a final Tantric sacred sexual union. We exchanged the Giving and Receiving Colour Light Therapy Treatment, clearing any stagnation around these subjects. We did a Tarot reading, received acupuncture from a master healer, followed by both of us receiving Thai massage. We had a romantic dinner together in a really beautiful Japanese restaurant.

The Setting for our separation ritual was:A Tachyon Stargate Yantra formation. For blessing our ceremony we used ‘white’ aura soma, calling in angels, archangels and ascended masters to witness and bless us in this transition. We were freshly showered and wearing white. We each read out our gratitudes to each other with full presence and love.

Sarita: Gratitude’s for Dharmaraj

“You are a gift from heaven, an angel, who appeared in my life.

You moved through every obstacle with determination and strength, never wavering in your devotion and love towards me. Your dedication to love is awesome and I am in reverence at your fortitude and courage.

With 100% dedication, you have passed through eight levels of Tantra initiation, annihilating your previous self and opening to becoming a true Tantra man.

You have held me in my vulnerability and I could truly let go in your arms. What a blessing this was! I thank you for your steadfast presence, making me feel very secure and held. 

You have loved me beyond reason, beyond time and mind, with totality and presence.

We have shared joys and sorrows and always come through shining. Your readiness to do healing and emotional work as and when needed, to keep our relationship clear of baggage, is truly impressive.

Your ability to make dramatic shifts in your life is that of a true Sannyasin.

Your dedication to truth makes you a beacon of light for others to follow.

You are a true Tribal King, and your caring nature has always awed me as you reached out to nurture and support our Kaula family.

I felt like a queen by your side.

Your dedication to the arts of sexual pleasure and Tantra is inspiring. I have always felt very comfortable and at ease opening up sexually with you. Our amazing sexual chemistry was a gift from the Gods. I will cherish forever, the memories of those heavenly realms of sexual and spiritual ecstasy we have shared.

You are beautiful and are able to really stand out as a handsome and juicy man. I have been so grateful you have chosen to walk your life path with me for all these years.

I am grateful you never worried about our age difference and always complimented me on my beauty. This is a great gift coming from a man thirty-two years younger than my chronological age.

I am grateful that we have shared a passion for healthy food and for various healing modalities.

I am inspired by your quick mind and your ability to immediately understand complex metaphysical as well as mathematical puzzles.

When I was in need, you were always there in full totality. I was deeply touched by the way you micro-managed my recovery when I broke my arm, even learning how to cook as a form of devotion to me.

You are very agile and able to change hats as needed. You were my friend, lover, Tantra partner, devotee, colleague, travel companion and Soul Mate. This flow allowed us to travel the world with so much joy and grace, sharing the bliss of Tantra in many myriad ways.

You are a super travel agent and have given me a great gift by taking care of all my travel reservations with attentiveness and love. I feel your loving presence each time I travel. 

You have showered me with love at every turn through your natural inclination of gift giving. I have never received so many material gifts from anyone in my whole life as I have received from you. You have anticipated what I would like and have given this even before I could formulate the thought about it within myself.

I have been very proud and ecstatic to be your Beloved.

Thank you, my King, for loving me with totality and reverence.”

Dharmaraj: Gratitude’s for Sarita

“I am grateful for the unconditional love showered on me by you, which I had never in my life experienced before.

I am grateful that I have tasted domestic bliss and contentment in the context of a long-term committed relationship. This was a part of the human experience that I always wished to have but had always eluded me, until now. And something I will, of course, seek for the future.

I am grateful for the endless gifts, treasures and wisdom you showered on me like a fountain. Perhaps there has never existed in the history of humanity such a walking treasure trove as you are.

I am grateful for your introducing me to authentic Tantra, a merging of Love and Meditation, so that it became a lived experience in me.

I am grateful for the healings you have given to me and the healing modalities you have introduced me to. I have become much healthier and freer because of this and have helped others become healthier and freer based on the gifts you have given to me. Color light, Tachyon, Ito Thermie, and much more, have transformed my life for the better.

I am grateful for the places we have been together and the adventures we have gone on together, which will forever be some of my favourite memories in life.

I am grateful that my connection with you finally helped me to dissolve my old life of being a miserable dentist, and you helped me to understand that the only possible way to live is to follow my mission and to be true to my soul calling.

I am grateful for the friends and family you have shared with me, who have become my friends and family and my high-vibe tribe. Now I hardly associate with anyone who I did not meet because of you, because this feels like my true family.

I am grateful for your patience with my inexperience, youth and stupidity, and your patience with my need to make mistakes, to learn from my own lived experience.You are incredibly elevated and evolved in how you have held space for me through all my diverse explorations.

I am grateful for your introducing me to what deeply fulfilling, connected and ecstatic sexual union really is, experiences that have forever changed me at the cellular and soul level.

I am grateful for you giving me a peek into the esoteric and unknown worlds of other dimensions, in a way that I know is true, and this brings me a deep sense of awe and wonder every time you share your psychic gifts and vision with me.

I am grateful for knowing the quality of your devotion, a quality that is lost in the western world and extremely rare in the modern eastern world. I feel like I am transported back to ancient times where the goddess worshipped the lingam as a god, a quality that has not been seen or experienced for hundreds or even thousands of years. I am blessed to have been honoured by this sacred and loving devotion that you have showered on me. 

I am grateful to have explored the vastness of the universe, the yoniverse that is inside of you and existing everywhere around you as well. To be lost in this infinite space made me feel like a frontier astronaut explorer, visiting worlds that have never been experienced before, with full wonder, excitement and expansion. 

I am grateful for your healthy way of living that has influenced me, slowly, to improve my health and quality of life. And I continue to slowly improve my health and quality of life by your influence without you needing to say anything.

I am grateful for the career opportunities you have given to me as a teacher and as a healer, that you have shared your work, your world and your business with me without holding back anything.

I am grateful for your loving quality of touch that has melted the physical traumas of my body and brought it back to balance, harmony and wholeness.

You were patient with my terror to experience true intimacy and deep relationship. You were so patient through the entire Soul Mate Journey and I am so grateful for that.

You were patient with my terror to experience true intimacy and deep relationship. You were patient through the entire Soul Mate Journey and I am so grateful for that.

I am grateful for your graciousness in accepting my foolish need as a young man to explore with other women, when we both know this is a search that may be unfulfilling for me. We both knew the only true fulfilment was to be together in union. I am grateful for your understanding that this is a foolish but important journey I must embark on alone to experience these aspects of what it is to be a human young man, just as you have experienced for yourself what it meant to be a human young woman exploring sexuality. You are incredibly elevated and evolved in how you have held space for this.

I am grateful for your timeless beauty and grace, as if watching a living Khajuraho temple.

I am grateful for your nurturing care that has brought me up from a small seed into a young tree, and on track to grow into an impressive and strong oak tree. I could only have sprouted and flowered under your care and guidance.

I am grateful for your beautiful eyes that pierce deep into my soul and see the real me, beyond the ego and beyond the flesh, in a way no one has ever seen me before.

I appreciate your energy and your laugh, which brings out the aliveness in me, where before I met you I was a walking zombie, sleepwalking through life. 

You give meaning and purpose to my life, where before there was only confusion and misery. You will continue to give me meaning and purpose in my life even if we are apart and not in love relationship. I am forever grateful to you for this.

I am grateful for your transmission of what it is to be a human being in full exaltation, magnificence, integrity, authenticity and ecstasy. 

I am grateful that I have tasted and experienced God through you, where before this was an unknowable concept. You are the Goddess who has brought me to God.

Thank you for everything that you have done for me.

Thank you for everything that you are.

Thank you for being.”

The Ending Statement

We then read out the statement of why we can no longer continue as Lovers and then added as an ending (which we read out together simultaneously):

“We agree to end our relationship as lovers and Tantra partners from today. When we meet again, we will re-evaluate how we wish to transition into friendship and as a teaching team. We both carry the intention to become loving friends and remain in each-other’s lives in a positive way.

We wish each other blessings to explore each on our own path, in gratitude and with love for one another. 

Thank you
And so it is
And so it is
And so it is”

(While bowing down one at a time to touch each other’s feet)
And now I let go.

Handfasting Ceremony
Burning the Handfasting ribbons
Burning the Handfasting ribbons

After this, we burnt our handfasting ribbons ceremoniously. Then we gave each other blessings with with Aura Soma quintessence of Sanat Kumara and Lady Venus Kumara.

Dharmaraj and I posted about our separation on face-book and we received an avalanche of heartfelt messages and blessings, honouring our transition into friendship. I enclose one message here which shines with tremendous luminosity in my heart.

“Thank you for sharing with us this conscious and immensely loving decision you have both made.

I am so grateful and moved to read from each of you about the transitional journey you have embarked upon – it feels a privilege to be included in your sharing of the incredibly honest and thoughtful choice you have made.

The spirit of each of you will shine even more brightly as you shift into a different relationship. We will all be lifted by the energy you have brought down from the heavens as you beautifully evolve beyond the nature of the love you have shared into an even deeper expression. I send you both all my love.” Dawn

Transformation and Transmutation

The next day, Dharmaraj left to go and do Osho Mystic Rose, and I left to go to a Detox Fasting Retreat. We both entered into the process of transformation and transmutation.

One of the meanings of the word Tantra is transforming poison into nectar.

When there has been so much love shared, it is right and fitting to transition with love, honouring and gratitude. Even if there is pain that comes with separation, the very act of focusing on gratitude transforms this pain into bliss.

As I let go of the old year, I simultaneously let go of what no longer serves my highest good. I embrace the New Year with joy and wonder, not knowing what the future may bring and yet trusting in life’s divine mystery. 

May the blessings of love touch each being and may the mystery of love lead us to the luminosity of our true nature.

Khajuraho 2015
Czech Republic 2019

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