Sarita’s Story

I was four years old and living in California, when my elder brother showed me a huge mushroom shaped cloud and explained to me that such a formation could be a nuclear bomb, carrying death and destruction to all living beings. It took me some moments to grasp the significance of such a possibility. The horror of it shook the very fibres of my being.

I determined then and there, that before death came, I would find the essence of life. I searched deeply into the archives of existence to find out what was the most important quality in life, and discovered love. My vague image of love was of a man and woman in profound harmony. I prayed that my life would be spared long enough that I would be able to discover and live in love. I decided that there was no time to waste, and from then onwards waited impatiently for the day when I could follow this calling.

At the age of 17, having hitchhiked across half the planet in search of the essence of life, I found myself sitting in a mysterious gathering of about 30 people in Mumbai, India. We were waiting for a man named Bhagwan, reputed to be a sex guru, to appear and give a discourse on Tantra.

Before this evening, my limited experience of sex had been uninspiring as well as psychologically and emotionally painful. The jungle of confusion around sex and relating was already quite thick. I had been sexually abused as a child, and at the age of 15 had found myself drawn into an abusive relationship. I had never experienced orgasm with a man and had begun to hate my body. Luckily fate had brought me to this room, where my journey into love as spiritual path began. Within a year after my first auspicious meeting with this remarkable spiritual master, I was healed of my trauma and able to begin to discover the ecstasy of divine sexuality.

My first impression of Bhagwan, (later known as Osho) was that he floated rather than walked into the room, on a cloud of silence. I was entranced by the grace of his every gesture. His brilliant eyes caressed each face in his audience with indescribable compassion.

He spoke on an ancient Tantra scripture, the Vigyan Bhairav Tantra, reputed to be at least 5000 years old, which contains 112 methods of meditation. This Tantra bible is written as a conversation between Lord Shiva and his consort, Paravati, (also known as Shakti). The sutra, (a condensed teaching on a particular subject) which Osho was commenting on reads, “During sexual union, stay with the fire in the beginning, thus avoiding the embers at the end.” His discourse on this subject lasted 1 ½ hours.

During this discourse my entire world view around sex, love and relating went through a profound metamorphosis. I felt as if I was awakening from a lifelong sleep. What I had only dreamed of as a vague possibility between a man and a woman was being clearly and succinctly enunciated as the birthright of all human beings. His discourse offered powerful indications as to how to go about discovering sexuality as a divine experience. His velvety voice echoes in me to this day: “Remain in the present. Enjoy the meeting of two bodies, two souls, and merge into each other, melt into each other. Sex organs also melt into each other. A deep, silent communion happens between two bodily energies, and then you can remain for hours together. It becomes an ecstasy, a Samadhi, cosmic consciousness.” Osho encouraged his disciples to experiment with the art of combining natural sexual openness, emotional fluidity and deep meditation.

He proposed the radical idea that sex and superconsciousness are two poles of the same energetic system and that if we repress sex, we cannot access spirituality. His teaching offers the wisdom of ancient Tantra to modern day humanity.

The book you now hold in your hands is a result of 36 years of experience on the Tantra path, as a devotee of Osho, and since his departure from the physical plane, as a teacher of Tantra. I began this path because I was burning to discover ecstatic love and enduring wisdom in life. After 16 years of intense personal transformation, in the dimensions of sex, love and meditation, I had dug a deep well into the very centre of my being. A source of beginningless and endless love and compassion began bubbling up from this centre. I found myself to be a river of bliss, flowing into an ocean of love.

This inner transformation has had its effect in the ebb and flow of my outer life. I learned and then taught Holistic Healing in various parts of the world. This gradually expanded to include teaching Tantra, arising out of the multidimensional, ecstatic rebirth I have experienced on the Tantra path.

My passionate enquiry into life, love and spirituality has naturally led me into many powerful relationships. Each relationship has helped me to learn valuable lessons, one of these being, ‘lovers come and go but love remains and goes on growing.’ My dedication to love as a spiritual path has helped me to integrate each love relationship into the entirety of my being, leaving me in a state of deep gratitude towards each unique man who has blessed my life. When I began teaching Tantra, it was with an exquisite French man named Geho. Having lived 26 years in India, I radically changed my life by moving to Europe with him. We created a school of Tantra together, based in England, and developed a 7 level training for lovers, and several groups for singles. We also developed the Tantra Meditation Retreat, which offers an opportunity to experience the 112 methods from the Vigyan Bhairav Tantra.

After 12 years wrapped in a cocoon of sublime love, we evolved into two separate butterflies in our creative expression, and parted ways. The process of the chrysalis of our relationship breaking apart was naturally extremely painful, bringing deep soul lessons as a result. I continued the work we had developed together, and he went on to develop a new lifestyle. In my every breath, I bow down to and honour each aspect of the love which has made me who I am today. Through all the names and all forms, it is love that makes us whole.

from Divine Sexuality, published by Findhorn Press
Copyright © 2011 Mahasatvaa Ma Ananda Sarita