Ask Sarita: Self-Pleasuring

Sarita loves to answer your questions, so if there’s something you’d like her advice on, please email her and let her know if you are happy for it to be published (you can remain anonymous). Here she answers a question on: self-pleasuring


Hi Dear Sarita,

I have a question but I don’t know whether I should ask it from you. I hope it is okay. I love Osho and my question is: What is Osho’s view on masturbation? Is it natural or not? Is it good or bad? What does Tantra say about masturbation?

Thanks a lot with deep love,



Hello Navid,

Masturbation can be a preparation for deep Tantric Lovemaking with a partner, and can also be a blissful experience of loving oneself, and even an experience of making love with the universe. There is a beautiful meditation taught to me by Osho, which I love to share in some of my groups. In this meditation, you can activate energy in the sex centre, and then allow this energy to move upwards. Instead of focalizing your attention solely on the genitals, allow this powerful energy to be felt through the entire body. This opens a new pathway, from sex to superconsciousness. Let go of any goal, and just become a river of life force energy. Instead of the energy moving down and out as it does with genital release, this will give you an experience of becoming orgasmic in your whole body. In this way, you can go on playing with waves of orgasmic energy for at least 40 minutes. Then sit in meditation.

You can do this meditation inside in your bed, and if you can find a place alone in nature, you can also do it in nature, and sense yourself making love with the tress, the earth, the stars, the sky. Lovemaking is not just a sneeze! When we learn to cultivate our life force, it becomes fuel for waves of ecstasy which can be felt anywhere, anytime. In this way, you become an emperor of love, meaning a person who overflows with love and joy. Ecstasy is our birthright, if we but know it.

I recommend you read my book, Divine Sexuality, and this will give you many insights regarding your question.

Love and Blessings,


Picture of Goddess copyright Magickal Graphics

18 responses to “Ask Sarita: Self-Pleasuring”

  1. sanjay says:

    Respected Ma Sarita
    Your everything is pious and divine.
    You are great blessing on earth.
    I know,you have really golden key.
    my attitude can`t be described.
    bye bye

  2. jai says:

    Hello dear sarita,
    I just want to know if there is any way to avoid nocturnal emissions. I practise masturbation or sex without ejaculation.
    even if the session is for one hour I can manage without ejaculating but once or twice in a month I get wet dreams. Is there a way I can avoid wet dreams completely.

    • Sarita says:

      Hello Jai
      It is natural to have ejaculation once or twice a month so no need to prevent this. It is the body’s way of saying, “hello, I enjoy to have an ecstasy release now and again!”
      Love, Sarita

  3. Adina says:

    Hi Sarita,

    Osho is always saying that sex should be in it’s own place and it shouldn’t go to our mind. When sex is in our mind it’s bad. And masturbation is sex with mind, with imaginations with porn, but not with a real partner.
    Please help.

  4. Adina says:

    Hi Sarita,
    I feel guilty about masturbation. The reason I feel guilty is that when I masturbate I’m having sex with my mind, I’m not having sex with the real woman. And Osho always say that sex should not be in your mind it has it’s own place, If it goes to your mind it’s a perversion. During masturbation we are imagining having sex with another woman or another man, so sex has gone to our mind. And some people use porn, that it is still not real, it’s kind of imagination. So I think people need to be real, and they have to go into real relationship with a partner rather than masturbating.
    Am I right?
    I’m an Osho lover by the way
    Thank you,

    • Sarita says:

      Hello Adina. My answer to both your questions: Self pleasuring is natural and is a way of loving yourself. When it goes into the mind, then porn will appear attractive and eventually this can become a destructive, mind based sexuality which can become addictive. I recommend to do a self pleasuring ritual, really honouring and making love to yourself, as you would do if you were with the best lover in the world. Be that best lover to yourself and this will be a very positive experience.
      Love, Sarita

  5. sanjeev says:

    Hi saritha ,
    I really obsessed with masturbation how can I transform this is overtaking me and I’m wasting all my energy through masturabation how can I get rid of masturbation to transform the energy I’m not able to overcome it.every time my mind is making me think about sexuality how can I use it to transform ?

    • Sarita says:

      Hello Sanjeev,
      I am wondering if you are looking at Porn while masturbating? If so, it may be that you are suffering from Porn addiction. If you look at my past blogs there is one that goes into detail about porn addiction and gives a link to a website that can help you to get over it.

      If you are simply masturbating without a visual stimulation and would like to find another way, then you can read my book Divine Sexuality, and in that book, there are instructions on how to masturbate as a support for Tantra rather than as a leaking of your life force energy. My book is available from Amazon India as well as in Amazon Europe.


  6. helen says:

    I am new to Tantra. I have been to 3 sessions so far (an evening and 2 full days). I am thinking of possibly a weekend next.

    I would like to ask about nudity and masturbation. The teachers are great and there is no pressure at all and can opt out of anything.
    At the first evening 2 (men) did become naked and I was a bit surprised by this.
    On the full day they became naked again as did a female. I had a great urge to also become nude (well partially anyway) but I did not.
    On the third day a few more became nude and I did go down to my underwear. We all had an amazing group extended orgasm experience, which was wonderful but what did surprise me was 2 men masturbated (with ejaculation) one female I think also orgasmed by masturbating.
    I could not do this in public although I do admire their bravery/openness.
    I know it is all about letting your self go. Which I do struggle with but have already made great strides
    My question is (I have been to no other Tantra sessions with different teachers) is what I have described ‘normal’ at Tantra sessions and perfectly acceptable and finally do you think I am being silly and should just enjoy and be happy with my own experiences.

    Thank you


    • Sarita says:

      Hello Helen,
      In Tantra weekend or longer groups there may be some nudity as needed for certain structures such as massage.
      In Tantra Essence we make a distinction between couples work and singles work. If it is a couples group we teach couples how to move into Tantric Sexual union, and they do this practice as a love appointment in the privacy of their bedroom. We do not ask people to masturbate or move into sexual union in the group room.

      In singles groups, there may be partner exercises and meditations, but these do not include sexual union. At no time do we ask people to do masturbation or sexual union in singles groups.

      This policy helps people to open up in a safe and held environment. We work with sexual energy in a way which is empowering and deeply nurturing.

      I don’t know who your teachers were for the group you are describing but it was certainly not a Tantra Essence group you were in. Therefore, it is not my place to give commentaries about it. I can simply clarify how I and teachers of Tantra Essence work.

  7. rohit says:

    hi sarita
    I want to ask whether concious self pleasuring (no woman at all ever) alone can make me reach higher states of conciousness and improved equinamity and all the benefits of meditation?

    • Sarita says:

      Hello Rohit
      Conscious self pleasuring is all about loving yourself and allowing joy to flow freely throughout the body. It can support you to expand consciousness, love and joy in your life. For an added boost, whenever you get the chance, try it in nature and feel yourself making love to the earth, trees, sky, moon and sun. This nurtures the possibility of making love with the universe.
      Love, Sarita

  8. Abhi says:

    So should we not coperate to flow it downward out?

    • Sarita says:

      Hello Abhi
      If someone would enjoy being in deep communion with the instinctual way to enjoy sexuality then they will like to go with the down and out impulse. If someone is inclined to explore sexual energy as a path to spiritual awakening then they will like to explore the potential inherent in allowing this powerful energy to rise up through the chakra system and the subtle energy pathway along the spine, linking this to the crown chakra and expanded consciousness. It is all a matter of choice and intent.

  9. premi says:

    dear sarita,
    i am a young boy from india who likes to watch porn and imaginary things the more i try to rationalize it and try to hold it the more and more it gets on me its has became very uneasy for me as i have now started watching things which are taboo and it starts to pop in my head every time when i am meditating and it makes the whole effort waste i dont want to think about that maybe it is because of the repression but i would really love to know your view on my problem and how can i get rid of it i dont have a partner which makes it more difficult as i still dont have a sexual experience


    • Sarita says:

      Hello Premi,
      In my newsletter on male sexuality and the Lingam, there was an article posted by a former porn addict. It will be very good for you to read this article. The research and information is out there now, that porn addiction is highly dangerous for a man’s sexuality. With porn addiction, chemical changes happen in the brain leading to physical impotence. Of course the people who make porn would like for person’s to become addicted because they make more money that way. But this is to prey on the vulnerability of the male sexual impulse. In actual fact, sexuality as it is portrayed in porn is highly unrealistic. It does not convey the exquisite beauty and love inherent in a true lovemaking experience between a man and a woman. For inspiration of what the sexual act can be, it is better to look at the sculptures of Khajuraho, or read and imbibe the Kama Sutra. I would highly recommend the following books on the subject of sexuality which you will find inspiring: The Vagina by Naomi Wolf and my book, Divine Sexuality.

      Try to move more in the direction of self pleasuring as I have described in my book, and also of course, find ways to begin dating women. You will learn many skills in the two books I have mentioned which will make you more attractive to women.

      Check out this site which helps Porn addicts let go of it. There is an excellent Ted Talk on here which I would highly recommend.

      I wish you all the best.

  10. Binit says:

    Hello Dear Sarita,
    Pls share Osho’s meditation technique that you referred to here. I ll be indebted to u.


    • Sarita says:

      Hi Binit
      This technique is not written by Osho anywhere. He only gave this technique to individuals to practice. I have described it in my blog. If you need further clarification, I recommend you read my book, Divine Sexuality. Another possibility is to do a group with me as in the Tantra groups we work with this type of method to help people discover full body orgasmic states, step by step. I trust this information will support you in moving in a positive direction with this practice.

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