Ask Sarita: Empowered Sexuality

Sarita loves to answer your questions, so if there’s something you’d like her advice on, please email her and let her know if you are happy for it to be published (you can remain anonymous). Here she answers questions on: female sexuality and our orgasmic potential.


Dear Sarita

My question is about drawing the female orgasmic energy upward and circulating it in the body. I’ve heard that female orgasm doesn’t cause one to lose energy in the same way that male ejaculation does. However it is important to learn to draw upward and circulate the energy in the body. Menstruation causes a more drastic energy loss which can be controlled with breast massage techniques. Another tantric course was totally against vaginal and clitoral orgasm saying that this will cause you to close the right side of the heart (spiritual heart) and interfere with the kundalini. Instead full cervix orgasm was acceptable. I don’t have a partner and since attending these trainings wasn’t successful with any of these teachings. But I can say that when I have clitoral or vaginal orgasm (sending the energy outward) I can see a significant drop in my energy level and a negative influence on my psychological, spiritual state and general wellbeing. Instead I try to circulate the energy but the teachings are so complicated so I never succeed and don’t know what to do with it. I started to suppress sexual urge and pleasure because of the dull feeling that kicks in 1 or 2 days after gratification. I would appreciate any knowledge or technique that you could share with me, and your explanation about the right way of handling the female sexual and orgasmic energy.



Dear Olga,

Your question is interesting. I am wondering if the teachings in question are coming from a man or from a woman?

I think first and foremost that men have been messing around with opinions about female sexuality for too long. It is time for women to empower ourselves about our own sexuality.

The mechanics of female orgasm are the same, meaning there is no clitoral vs vaginal orgasm. For genital orgasm to happen there are three physical aspects that come into play.
1) Arousal of the clitoris and clitoral network.
2) The trigger point for orgasm in the sacrum
3) Contractions in the vagina

Of course, the intensity of orgasm will vary depending on how open and flowing a woman is in her own energy. The orgasm may be localized around the clitoris or it may include the cervix and womb or it may include the whole body. A woman is also capable of experiencing whole body orgasm without genital release. And she is also capable of chain orgasm, multiple orgasm, and female ejaculation (also known as Amrita).

As far as I know, orgasm is simply a state of pure joy and ecstasy where time and mind stop. It offers a glimpse of eternity. It is a gift of God / Goddess. Because this state of being can be experienced so powerfully for a woman, some men are afraid or threatened by it. This then leads to all kinds of theories around female sexuality and each of the theories tries to somehow control or not allow women to be as she is in her full blown orgasmic splendour.

I recently saw a hilarious film called Hysteria, which depicts a true story of how vibrators were first invented. The long and the short of it is: in the Victorian times, medical professionals used to treat women with apparent hysteria by massaging their clitoris. The woman would experience what they called a ‘paroxysm’, and would then be cured of her ‘hysteria’ till the next attack. They had no idea that the clitoris had anything to do with sexuality or that the ‘paroxysm’ was pure ecstasy.

If such ignorance was so recently in our culture, it is highly possible that traces of this same ignorance are still prevalent even now. According to scientific studies of women’s sexual response, the more orgasms a woman has, the more she can have. After orgasm, she remains on the orgasmic plateau for at least 20 minutes, ready for more orgasms. It is true that a woman loses energy with her menstruation, but not with orgasm. With orgasm normally, she gains more energy. What may be depleting energy, is having negative ideas or thoughts around orgasm. If you love yourself, love your capacity for joy and ecstasy, I am sure you will gain energy from your orgasmic explorations.

In regards to Kundalini, if you want to experience the orgasm of the soul, and cosmic consciousness, genital orgasm is the diving board into such an experience. When I dissolved into universal consciousness, it was simply the most mind-blowing orgasm of my entire existence. It blew me into the next dimension from the crown chakra. But I must make it clear, that it was not so much different from genital orgasm in the sense that they are both orgasm. One is coming from the genitals and the other is coming from the crown chakra. If you want to know cosmic orgasm it is essential to practise with free-flowing genital orgasm, and allow this to move into the experience of full body orgasm and all that such an experience can offer. Let your ecstasy become oceanic and wild! Such experience will awaken your innate wisdom, because we are hardwired for bliss. When we discover how to allow bliss to flow freely in our body mind, we come into harmony with all that is.




One response to “Ask Sarita: Empowered Sexuality”

  1. prashant says:

    I want to experience the orgasm of the soul. I have a feeling round the clock to have intimate high energy orgams with my wife for which I am in search of a guru/guide who can teach us tantric sex and help to feel the cosmic bliss.
    Ma Sarita can u help us in this regard?

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