Sarita’s Blog: The Pearl of Gratitude

In groups or conferences, people often tell me they are drawn towards me because they read that I lived  close to Osho for many years. Many people have told me that they experience Osho’s presence through me. I am treated with greatest respect by people, simply because Osho’s fragrance lingers in my aura. And it is true, that whatever I have learned and whatever I am sharing is a river springing forth from his infinite wisdom and love. I sat photoat his feet from 1973 till he left his body in 1990. And after that, I remained in his commune for another 9 years. Whoever I was before meeting him was washed away and I found my new self reborn in his garden of love. It was a new Eden, a place where innocence, silence and celebration became my way of life. In this blog, I share with you, dear reader, one pearl from my mala of experience with him. This pearl may give you a glimpse of what it was like to be in close physical proximity to him and insight into the infinity of his love.

Many times, people feel sad that they did not have the opportunity to meet Osho in the flesh. As far as I know, the energetic reality which is Osho is still very much alive and vast numbers of people are being benefited by his non-physical presence. All you need to do to be in contact with him, is to get on his wavelength.

My whole life is simply a mala of gratitude. One pearl from the mala takes place in 1979 in ‘Darshan’ with Osho. Darshan means ‘to see’ and is a meeting between master and disciple in a more intimate setting.

Sarita with Osho in the 70s

Sarita with Osho in the 70s

Osho calls me forward for ‘Energy Darshan’. This is an absolutely mind-blowing event where Osho touches the third eye of devotees, offering transmutation from mind to pure being. While he is occupied with offering this blessing, musicians are playing wild gypsy style music.
Osho asks me to sit with my back towards His knees. The chaotic live music begins. He places his fingers on the third eye centre on my forehead, and pulls my body backwards (very forcibly) into his lap. Usually, I carry shame, guilt, self-loathing and other such mind trips, which puts up big barriers to receiving Osho fully and completely. To my egotistic mind, he is God, pure and simple, and I am an ordinary and screwed up human being. The very thought of laying in his lap is the antithesis of my self-depreciating belief system.
On this occasion however, his gesture catches me so much by surprise that I simply find myself surrendering and letting go. His lap is scented with his special perfume, which obliterates the mind. I fall forever into an abyss of pure darkness, which expands ad infinitum into universal essence. The pillow of his lap is soft clouds of pure love. I am dying, or being born into an eternity of love. There is no up nor down, knowing or not knowing. All is one, undivided, whole.
The Buddhists say: “Gate Gate, Para Sum Gate, Gate Swaha…” Gone, gone, gone beyond, gone forever…..I have no desire, motivation or capability of coming back once the Energy Darshan is complete. My body is prone, unable to move without the mind to propel it. Someone, perhaps my Beloved, picks me up and carries me somewhere cool and feather light, maybe it is the marble floor. I am flying or floating, and don’t know the way back into physical form. The experience transcends what we call ecstasy, as it has no emotional content. It is profound, uncaused peace. Perhaps we can call this bliss, or Samadhi. It has no beginning or ending; it is that which is eternally true.
Eventually, slowly, my mind comes back. Finding itself dethroned, it has to make do with becoming the humble servant of the eternal dimension of reality. A definitive shift has taken place. The fulfilment, which I have been seeking for many lives, now runs as an underground river within my being, which I can dip in and out of any moment. Gratitude fills my heart to overflowing, and with it, a new pearl is formed on my mala of life.
When I bow down to touch His feet, they are as big as the universe. This moment is all encompassing.
Thank you Osho.

Sarita just after Sannyas

Sarita just after Sannyas

Sometimes, in my life as a Tantra Teacher, people ask me to give them Osho Sannyas and Energy Darshan. I am humbled and remain in a state of wonder, taking this as a great honour to offer Darshan to those who are thirsty for it. Each time, in some magical and mysterious way, Osho takes over and I am simply his medium. Having absorbed him so deeply in myriad ways, it feels effortless to become his flute, allowing the music of his presence to come through.

Being with Osho is a love affair. Some people are called to be with him while others are not. I respect the soul calling of each individual and don’t believe it is essential for everyone to become an Osho Sannyasin. The most important advice I can offer is: just keep following your bliss. If this bliss in your heart brings you to Osho, so be it. If this bliss leads you somewhere else, honour that. There are many paths to the top of the same mountain. It gives me joy to share a little something about the path I have travelled.

Osho has said: “Even if I leave my body, I am not going to leave my Sannyasins. I will be as much available as I am right now. The only thing to remember is, are you available to me?”

2 responses to “Sarita’s Blog: The Pearl of Gratitude”

  1. Dinkar Hire says:

    The Immortal love is not a lust its beyond the imagine of human being..Dhanyawad Oshoji..

  2. GitPrem says:

    Great Love * stories and pictures stir the Heart * the Heart in Awe * LOVE

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