Ask Sarita Q) “How can I last longer in sex?”
A) I receive dozens of questions from men on this subject. This means you are not alone in your query. In fact this issue is chronic and a world wide problem. There are a few reasons why prematureejaculation is so widespread and even if a man is not a premature ejaculator, why he cannot sustain for longer than 10 minutes. Study these points below to have more understanding.
1) The way he learned masturbation. Because of shame and guilt which has been programmed into him from a young age around the subject of his genitals, when he begins masturbating at puberty, he does so furtively and in a hurry. This style of masturbating unfortunately leads to a fixed program of the sexual organs to function in that way. So even after he meets a woman and begins having sex, his sexual organs will continue functioning in the same hurried way. Cure: De-program yourself. Practice masturbation, which does not have a goal. Arouse yourself and then stop touching your genitals and spread the pleasurable energy all over the body. Come back to your genitals and when aroused, continue spreading this awakened energy all over your body again. You can continue like this for up to two hours. Gradually, you will unlearn the fast method of release and will learn slow build up and all over body sensation.
2) Tension in the solar plexus is one of the main causes of premature ejaculation. Relax and open the solar plexus and your whole genital system will relax. Cure: There are a few things, which will help release tension in the solar plexus. Massage your solar plexus, releasing all tension. Do a breath group, which will help you unwind the emotional stagnation held in your solar plexus. Do bio energetics, particularly the gagging method which releases tension from solar plexus and throat. Use a hot water bottle on your solar plexus. Do Osho’s Dynamic Meditation. And learn to accept that you are both powerful and vulnerable as a man. Self -acceptance and self-love is a powerful cure.
3) Watching Porn is a very big cause of premature ejaculation. It gives mind-based sexual excitation, which causes a disassociation with the genitals and with being in the moment and with a woman. Cure: Stop watching porn. Porn is a negative addiction and will gradually diminish your sexual capacity because it is feeding a mind-based sexual experience, cut off from reality. This desensitizes the genitals. Real men and women in a real life sexual exploration will look, feel and sound very different from what is shown in a porn film. Nowadays, unfortunately, many sexual attitudes are formed by porn, which has permeated the culture quite deeply. Many people try to perform in sex like they have seen actors perform in a porn film. Then they wonder why their relationships are disastrous. If you want to come off porn and find it difficult, you can come to a Tantra group and learn a positive approach to sexuality, which honors and balances the body, emotions, mind and soul.
4) Not having correct information about the art of making love leads to dissatisfaction in sex and relationships. It is essential for people to learn valuable tips on how men and women can be satisfied sexually, from a Tantric angle.
Cure:
- Come to my group called Master Lover.
- Do my online course called Master Lover.
- Come to the Tantra Man Training.
- Get my book, Divine Sexuality and do some of the practices offered in the book which help you to dissolve wrong sexual conditioning and embrace sexuality as a divine experience.
- Learn Yoni Massage. The good news is that it can be practiced in a couple or even if you are single and want to level up your lover skills.
Just recently I had a couple in the Master Lover couples group who told me they had been married for 30 years and had never h
ad sex which lasted more than 3 minutes. Naturally, the wife hated sex. By the end of the weekend, they were having sex for two hours duration and looked elated.
I hope a time will come when a positive Tantric style of sexual education will be offered in schools, so that people everywhere can discover the immense fulfillment and satisfaction which is possible in sexual union. Until that time, each person has to be their own detective, to search and find out sexual secrets for a fulfilled life.
I do my best to spread this information through my books, articles, groups and trainings. Subscribe to my Newsletter and follow my Facebook Page for more information.
Love and Blessings, Sarita
Hi Sarita
This is Sudhakar here. Have been trying to find natural solution for PME. I am currently on ayurvedic medicine for a week for this purpose.
Heard that tantric retreat and yoga has right solution for this. I even tried to get some information on tantra from net but it is difficult to choose between the right one.
I am in gurgaon(Delhi NCR) now and willing for right tantric advise for this. My problem is my wife also wants the solution for me but she hardly believe in such idea. Can you please guide me the way forward please. I will be grateful for this.
Hello Sudhakar,
I receive dozens of questions from men on this subject. This means you are not alone in your query. I wrote a few very useful pieces in my blog about PME and how to last longer in sex. Follow the link: http://www.tantra-essence.com/2015/01/last-longer-sex/ and http://www.tantra-essence.com/2017/02/magic-tantra-erotic-arts/ You may find some helpful advices.
Love,
Sarita
Hello Kiran, please contact Swami Anahata who is a teacher from Tantra Essence opening a branch in India. You can find his details on my website under accredited teachers.
My husband ordered Cialis at the pharmtechi.com pharmacy about a year ago. At first, he took it every other day, and then once in 3 days. The first pack lasted for almost a month, by the end, the sex was twice a day, as long as I wanted. In general after a while Cialis pills from https://pharmtechi.com/cialis/ pharmacy were no longer needed and the erection recovered.
Dear Sarita,
My partner is unhappy about my premature ejaculation. I can relate to early teenage years masturbation problems. Please help me with a solution
Hello Ross
You need to retrain your body to last longer. For this to happen, you need to self pleasure and then stop before ejaculation. Imagine stages of sexual build up, warm, hot, super hot and super nova. Stop at hot or just before super hot, and do something else for awhile. Then come back to your masturbation practice, build up and again stop and do something else. It is also good to spread the energy all over the body. Eventually, you will learn how to prolong your pleasure and master it. Also, it will be good if you come to the Master Lover Course happening at Zorba the Buddha in Delhi in November 2016.
Love, Sarita
hello Saritha ji,
my name is kiran and am from Andhra pradesh state, INDIA. Am 32yrs. Right from my childhood spirituality, love and sex were very strong likes/desires in me which are always growing along with my age. but the the laet i.e sex wae an still is a big question in my mind 🙁 and because of that, i have always felt that, am deceiving myself . We are tuned from childhood that sex is something very wrong . sex and spiritual are two opposite poles. and i always had a fight from inside ,cos both are equally strong in me. i always wanted to find a woman who can quench these three thirsts in me and become a Godess for me. but never did i find anyone on these thinking lines. i have little experience in hatha yoga, kriya yoga, bhakti yoga, etc – but that desire for infinite love is still a dream. I hav been to good number of Guru’s, but i always got a dissatisfied answer about sex. Am confused , can u help me out.
i was trying to find some answer to myself through google, and came across ur site and read few of ur articles and got little hope to ask you such questions ,which are forbidden in our societies . of course , finding a woman and life partner of my type seems an impossible task in the society i live in. if i say, i have strong desires about finding the love of my life – immediately , our Guru’s say ,’your are unfit ‘, or they just push it aside very casually saying , “you are hijacked by ur hormones” 🙁
it will be a life for me, if u can let me off this confusion .
actually ,after going through few of ur articles ,i wanted to come for few day,for any of ur retreat , but am afraid – if any Indians come at all. cos i see only non Indians and more over , am a single man. dont have a partner or loved one who may be ready in my circle atleast..
regards,
kiran
INDIA
Hello Kiran, please contact Swami Anahata who is a teacher from Tantra Essence opening a branch in India. You can find his details on my website under accredited teachers.
Hello Respected Sarita
thanx for the valuable tips. Please suggest some tips for erectile dysfunction. Are you going to organise master lover camp in India. If yes kindly inform about the schedule.
thanx
Hello Raj,
Please read my book Divine Sexuality for answers regarding sexual dysfunction. It is available from Amazon India.
Hi Sarita, I am following you at many platforms and reading your articles for quite sometime. I had taken my Sanyaas from OSHO around 4 years back and tried to attend your session in Nisarga, Dharamshala India, but could not do so. Anyways
You have rightly said that porn is the main culprit of disastrous sexual relationships in the life of millions of couples around the world. More particularly in countries where sex education or precisely mentioning of sex is a taboo. The first experience of free and non-feared sex activity takes place only after marriage and in the name of sex education they only have glimpses of porn and hearsay which is taken and understood as the real sex by people. The couple try to perform such acts and fail to enjoy and ultimately loose interest in the activity, more particularly women.
In the countries like India, it is difficult to find a partner to practice Tantra, as far as meditations and practices involving physical togetherness. The male, who are not having a partner and seeking for it, are considered perverts, suppressed, etc. The women, who are seeking a partner are considered as with bad character. As many people mis-use the practices of Tantra to fulfill their lust, instead of using it to rise above, the interested persons do not come openly. It becomes difficult to know actually who are really serious and interested in becoming the partners for good of the both.
Well I am from Delhi and also dont know about any such group or person with whom I can come into contact.
With lots of love.
Hello Pratap,
In Delhi you can go to Zorba the Buddha to meet people of like mind or to attend the Tantra Festival there. You can also contact Swami Anahata who is on my team and is now opening a branch of Tantra Essence in India. His contact details are on my website under ‘accredited teachers’ Love, Sarita
Sarita I m amazed at your insight in the matter. All I can say is great work. I hope I can attend ur session some day. Seems impossible right noe
I am single male 41 without a sex partner kindly let me know how to manage my emotions
Hello Mahalingam,
I am wondering if you mean emotions or libido? Or both? If it is libido, you can move into self pleasuring as a meditation. Loving oneself is a prerequisite for loving others. In my book, Divine Sexuality, I offer a beautiful self pleasuring technique for men as well as many other interesting techniques.
If you are into Tantra, and Tantric Meditation, you would certainly be much sought after as a partner. In the Tantra scene, there tend to be more women than men, looking for a male partner who is ready and willing to practice Tantra. If I know where you are based, it will be easier to recommend a positive direction for you. One thing is for sure, for moving emotional and sexual energy, ti is very helpful to practice Osho active meditations.