Tantric Relationships – Sarita’s Blog

At the time of writing, I have been offering once weekly online Satsangs for about two months. The format I use is ‘Questions and Answers’ followed by a Tantra Meditation or personal development technique, aligned with the subjects presented in the questions and answers.

I find it very intriguing that even during the Covid-19 Lockdown, the majority of questions people ask me have to do with sexuality, relationships and Tantra practices. I have given the information in publicity that people can ask about Sexuality, Emotions, Relationships, Chakra System, Kundalini Energy, Health, Tantra and Spirituality. The fact that the majority of questions are about relationship gives me the information that human relations and particularly intimate relationships are the glue that holds us together and makes us uniquely human.

I find the subject of relationships and particularly Tantric Relationships endlessly fascinating. I consider the study of Tantra and Tantric relationships to be a true branch of science. Healthy relationships are vital for human wellbeing and happiness. And even if we humans have endless difficulties, neuroses, emotional storms, projections of all kinds, still we keep hoping, dreaming and trying to find harmonious, fulfilling love with one another.

The 7 level Soul Mate Training for Couples

Having been teaching the 7 level Soul Mate Tantra Training for couples since 1998, I have been privileged to witness a steady stream of miracles in relationships over the years. I have discovered how to help stagnated energies to flow again, how to bring the spark back into the sexual life of couples and how to help couples access expanded states of consciousness and inner ecstasy together. An integral part of this is nurturing couples into applying healthy communication skills. Each level of the training offers couples different techniques of intimate partner meditations and also troubleshooting tools. Couples slowly develop a tool kit, which they can use when the going gets rough between them.

There are five main reasons why rough waters arise in intimate relationships:

1. Projections
2. Stagnation in the chakra system
3. Sex is not satisfying for one or both partners
4. Misconceptions and warped ideas or conditioning about sexuality
5. Clumsy communication skills


The world and everything in it is seen by each individual in a unique way according to their inner version of reality. We project this inner world onto the outside and also onto our intimate relationships. If we carry wounding from childhood, we tend to project this wounding onto our partners. Any moment, the partner may push our button, releasing our inner pain and this then gets blamed on the partner. Of course, the partner doesn’t enjoy being projected on and generally a fight will ensue.

For releasing projections, it is very helpful to do a gestalt projection exercise, Dynamic Meditation, breath therapy and other methods for releasing the original wound which formed the projection.

Stagnation in the chakra system:

We have a vertical channel for the movement of vital energy running from our sex center to our crown chakra. When we awaken the flow of life force energy, as happens in Tantra, life force energy begins its ascent. In India this is called the awakening of Kundalini. As this energy ascends, it pierces through any stagnation that may be present in the chakra system. The chakra system is made up of 7 energy centres all along the central channel. Each center carries a particular frequency, colour, lesson and gift. As these centres open, we progressively become more ecstatic and wise. 

In many people, there are varying amounts of stagnation within the chakra system. The key to unwinding the stagnation is to allow flow and this includes the flow of emotions. Allowing emotional fluidity is a master key for knowing the joys of Kundalini awakening. Once Kundalini is awakened, the couple has the potential to enjoy orgasmic ecstasy in all 7 chakras. This experience is described by Osho as leading to the phenomenon of the Soul Mate. 

Sex Is Not Satisfying For One Or Both Partners

It is actually astonishing to find out how many couples do not have sex or have sex very rarely. I met one couple who appeared to be very happy on the outside. However, they had not had sex for 20 years and this had led to a great erosion in their relationship. Another couple who were in my Soul Mate Training, had not had sex for 10 years. By the end of the training, they were having deeply fulfilling sex, and looked like a honeymoon couple. 

Many times this dissolution of sexual relations is because the two partners carry misconceptions about how sexuality functions for the male and for the female. They are trying to fit into what they believe is what is expected and are not actually listening to their own body or to the body of their partner. To help remedy this type of situation, I have created an online course called ‘Master Lover. 

Misconceptions Around Sexuality

Our so called sexually liberated society is rife with misconceptions and misinformation about the true nature of sexual needs and desires for both men and women. These misguided ideas have taken root in the fertile ground of sexually repressive ideals coming from mainstream religions. Sex education is almost non-existent in a form that can be actually applied to a person’s life for the benefit of a rich and fulfilling sexuality. 

Women are still regarded as objects meant to serve male ideals. This is further fuelled by pornography, designed to make maximum profits by enslaving the male psyche to fantasy and mind-based lust without any roots in real and honest male female relations. Because the general view of sexuality stems from an outdated patriarchal mindset, women are woefully unaware of their vast potential for multiple and full body orgasmic joy, opening into spiritually expanded states of consciousness. 

Sometimes it happens as if by accident, that a couple will suddenly enter a realm of psychedelic sex, where body and spirit become aligned and the couple experience the miracle of oneness with each other and the universe. 

These kinds of spontaneous experiences in sex have led Tantra masters to experiment with the human energy system, finding ways and means for achieving such states again and again through precise methodologies. 

In truth, Tantra is a very precise science and if followed correctly, it leads the practitioner into exalted states of inner ecstasy repeatedly, till these states are revealed as our natural birth-right. 

Communication Skills

In childhood, we look to parents or caregivers to offer us a program in regards to discerning how to live intimate relations in future when we will grow up. Children are like sponges, soaking up anything in the environment and this becomes an ingrained approach to life afterwards. If our parents were not able to demonstrate affection or fought a lot this will create a warped pattern in relationships in the future of the child.

The good news is it is possible to rewrite the scenarios of childhood and discover new ways of approaching intimate relationships. But this takes dedicated homework. Family Constellation, Erickson Hypnosis, The Tachyon Vertical Reality series of groups and Colour Light Therapy Male-Female Balance Series are all very good ways to rewrite the script. 

The Senses in Communication

One very basic technique which works wonders is to discover the sensorial orientation of your partner and use his or her terminology when communicating.

Some persons are more visual, some more auditory, someone may be more olfactive while another may be more into the kinaesthetic sense. In general, our education system only offers respect to visual and auditory types of persons. Those who are more in tune with the feeling, kinaesthetic sense, or olfactive (smelling and tasting) will often feel marginalised within the current model of education. 

It was found in a study that when an education system switched to 5 senses learning, even the students who were considered not very bright, were able to excel. This is because within 5 senses learning, all types are honoured.

When you apply this to relationships, you may be amazed how harmonious your relationship will be. Listen attentively to your partner. What kinds of terminology he or she uses in daily conversation? 


I feel so hot for you!

Your scent drives me wild!

“Mmmm, I want to eat you up!”

I see your body and desire you!

I hear your voice in my ear and it arouses me so much!

Or alternatively; when your partner is upset, what do they say?


I just don’t feel appreciated by you.

Your breath stinks!

I have a bad taste in my mouth in your presence.

You look like you got out of bed on the wrong side today.

Your voice is too loud, shut up!

Remember your partner’s sense orientation and try to apply this in conversation with them. If they are visual, use visual words. If they are auditory use auditory words, and so on. You may be amazed how your partner responds. They will begin sensing that you are finally understanding and empathic with them and will open to you like a flower in the morning sun.

Human Design for Couples

There are many important communication skills to learn and each one of these adds a new layer of understanding to your relationship dynamic. One very helpful system for understanding right communication is Human Design. Through this therapeutic modality, you will begin understanding your partner’s style of being and how to interact with them in the most positive way. You and your partner can have human design sessions with a professional and be amazed at how this impacts your relationship for the better.

Two Human Design Therapists I recommend are:

Tantra Soul Mate Training for Couples

In the Couples’ Soul Mate Tantra Training, we work deeply on communication skills as well as immersion into sacred sexuality techniques. It is so fascinating to travel the path of Tantra Relationship as a couple and to discover all the wonders of the world here and now in deep fusion with your beloved. You will discover the most powerful truths, the greatest peaks of inner ecstasy and the deep diving of valley orgasm together. You will discover the God and Goddess within, unveiling to that space beyond time, mind and ego. Can you imagine any other elixir more precious in this world? 

Sex and Samadhi Are One

I always remember Osho saying about sex, “Unless your woman cries out ‘Hari Om Tat Sat! (Oh God this is the ultimate truth!) the man is not allowed to move into his orgasm.” I love the way he indicates that we can arrive to this point in sex where we are experiencing the ultimate truth. This has and continues to be my experience in sex and I hope and pray each and every human being can enjoy such nectar.

There is a saying in Tantra: ‘Sex and Samadhi are one’. I spent many years trying to discover if this statement is true. I wanted to know it from my own experience. And I would like to share the good news that indeed this statement is true! Sex and Samadhi are two poles of one energetic system. As we activate and open supreme ecstasy at the sex center, the other pole of the crown chakra is also awakened. It is the greatest journey on earth to discover this. 

I invite all beings to discover this supreme joy.

For practicing Tantra Techniques in the couple, there are many resources:

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