Transforming the Parent / Child Relationship – Ask Sarita

Question: “I went back to living with my parents this year, and I feel that my mom’s energy is heavy and draining. I just don’t feel good when I’m around her. How do I know if this is my own energy or I’m absorbing hers? How do I differentiate if she’s toxic, or if this is some trigger that I need to heal?

P.S. I love your weekly Satsang.”

Answer: When you work on yourself, your parents will automatically change. You working on yourself may even inspire them to work on themselves. I have seen it happen so many times in healing sessions or in groups; a client experiences a huge release and rewriting of their inner script regarding their parents. Soon after, an estranged parent will call them and say they are ready to heal the rift. The child and parent end up crying on the phone and telling each other how much they love each other. The relationship then evolves mysteriously to a new level of harmony that was never achievable before.

The parent child bond goes very deep because your body is formed through your parents’ union. Sometimes we carry so much wounding from parents that we turn against them in anger. This attitude will, deep down, turn you against yourself. What is needed is to bring discernment to the program downloaded from your parents. Knowing full well that their light essence will never leave you, it is possible to go on an inner evolutionary journey to unwind all the patterns and imprints from your parents that are neurotic or warped and are not actually in tune with either their or your soul calling.

Generations upon generations go on passing down their incomplete issues leading to warped patterns. This ends up being a huge burden on each successive generation. We carry not only the trauma of our parents but also the trauma of our ancestors. The effect may be subtle or obvious; it goes on working from underneath to divert us from who we came here to be in this world.

It is a delicate work to untangle all the threads and to facilitate those ancestral issues which are not serving us to depart from our body and psyche. Once this cleansing has happened, we can then call into the empty space which is left, those qualities, which are deeply aligned to our true nature . In this way, little by little you will discover who you truly are. You will also then finally be able to feel grateful towards your parents for having given you life. You will be able to see and experience them as vulnerable beings who were influenced by their ancestors, just like you are. This understanding naturally gives rise to compassion.

At a certain point in every seeker’s life, it is essential to see the neurotic patterns and to make a vow: “These warped patterns are not mine. They have affected me but they are not me. This ancestral train of misery stops here with me. I will not be passing it down to any future generation. I vow to do the work necessary to cleanse and release these patterns from my body / mind / emotions and soul. Once I am purified of these patterns, I will live according to my soul calling. 

Thank you! And so it is! And so it is! And so it is!”

For working on yourself and for achieving liberation from parental and ancestral patterns, I recommend the following methods:

Family Constellation:

Colour Light Therapy: (Male Female Balance Series) (For a list of therapists write and ask for recommendation for the area in which you live)

Primal Therapy: (Swarup and Premartha teach this)

Tachyon Vertical Reality: Level 1 (and eventually Level 2) (Sarita teaches this)

Osho Dynamic Meditation (Do this as a series for 21 days in a row.)

Osho Mystic Rose The Mystic Rose happens in several countries in the world. Look for one happening in your area. (Check for more information about Osho Meditative Therapies)

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