Losing the spark in the Relationship after becoming Parents – Ask Sarita

Question: I am writing to you because the sex life with my partner died 4 years ago when our child was born. Since then we have been very much focused on being parents and forgot to be lovers to each other.

My libido is very low and I can count on my fingers the number of times we made love and had romantic journeys after the birth of our son.
4 years of “trapped sexual energy” had and has consequences on our relationship and we never found the way/courage/time to re-ignite the flame within us. We were many times at the edge of separation but have kept up to ensure a good environment to our son. However, we cannot do it only for him anymore, we need to nurture ourselves also.
I believe Tantra can enhance and boost a relationship but I want to know if your teaching can also heal the wounds of such a relationship and re-ignite the flame, intimacy, sexuality within a relationship.
I think Tantra alone might not be enough, we might need this with psychotherapy sessions as well. I am not sure.

 Answer: Yes, Tantra can help reboot a relationship when libido is diminished.

I would recommend a few things you can do:

You can both participate in my online course, Master Lover. This offers various exercises, meditations, discourses for you individually and also for you as a couple to learn with and practice together. Practicing Tantra as a couple offers a magical boost to relationship dynamics, sexually, emotionally and spiritually.

Have a couples Human Design session with my sister: madhuritourmaline@gmail.com You can write to her and give your date of birth, time and place of birth. She will prepare your chart and your partner’s chart and then give you a session by skype or zoom. This session is really very valuable in understanding many things about yourself, about your partner and how you can improve your relationship dynamics.

If libido is lost after giving birth, there may be several reasons involved: 

  • Physically due to hormonal changes
  • Psychologically due to changes in emotions and psychology through the process of becoming parents
  • Physically due to lifestyle / eating habits

For addressing the issues above it can be really helpful to research and practice Ayurveda / Vedic principles in your lifestyle. You could begin by having a consultation with an Ayurvedic Doctor. If you don’t find this possible where you are; then you could find a Chinese medicine doctor and receive acupuncture and herbs, probably needing several sessions over a one month period for you and your partner.

Eventually, whenever it will be possible, you and your partner can benefit by doing the 7 levels Soul Mate Series with me or with teachers from my team. This series of groups is available in Europe with teachers from my team and in Bali with me. Through this you will open up and experience a whole rainbow of experience in your relationship.


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